101 Things About Me ...

1. I love every shade of the color yellow.
2. I am struggling with this list already.
3. The snooze button is my friend.
4. I love to sleep in.
5. Well maybe I don't love to sleep in as much as I love to get up when I want to not when the clock says to.
6. I think I have the best, smartest dog in the world.
7. I like to think I'm bilingual.
8. My spanish speaking skills need some practice.
9. I love my family.
10. It will take an amazing man to love me as much as my dad does.
11. I wish I was a little bit taller.
12. I wish I was a baller.
13. I know the lyrics to way too many songs from the 80s and 90s.
14. My sister is my best friend. (Thanks for loving me for me!)
15. I want to live in another country at some point in my life.
16. I love the fact that God created us all diferent.
17. I dream of making a difference in this world.
18. I often fear I won't be as affective as God intended me to be.
19. I want to write a book.
20. I am a dreamer ... anything is possible.
21. I struggle with saying "no."
22. I am often too deep ... I think too much.
23. I have never heard of poop being referred to as "doody."
24. I think monkeys are adorable.
25. I have paintings from South America hanging in my house.
26. I stink at cooking.
27. I love to eat and try new foods.
28. I love change.
29. I have been in three car accidents.
30. I totalled my car once driving 10 miles an hour.
31. I love how music can take you to a specific place in time.
32. I have to eat something sweet after a meal.
33. I can't imagine my life without my family - mom, dad, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins - all of you.
34. I am a CRAZY sports fan ... I guess you could say I am a fanatic.
35. I want to go to Lambeau Field in the freezing cold to see a game.
36. I only like baseball if I see it live ... otherwise it's boring.
37. I play a mean 18 holes of golf.
38. My roommate and I watch "Saved By The Bell" reruns every morning.
39. I've been a buckeyes fan since birth ... I watched Archie Griffith play on tv when I was a month old in the hospital.
40. I love being me ... but it gets tiring sometimes.
41. I've never been in love.
42. I dream of meeting my prince charming.
43. I think I am worth being pursued.
44. I am a sucker for a good smelling man ( Axe doesn't count).
45. I think you can tell a lot about a person by their eyes and shoes.
46. I bite my nails.
47. I keep too much inside.
48. I don't like confrontation - but I am learning it doesn't always have to be a bad thing.
49. The only thing better than chipotle tacos are my mom's.
50. I love to write, but I don't do it as much as I'd like ... not sure why.
51. I used to be allergic to diary products as a kid ... whole milk still messes me up sometimes.
52. I am not a big fan of eggs.
53. I love movies that inspire me.
54. I like to cheer for the underdog.
55. I believe in others more than I do myself sometimes.
56. Children melt my heart.
57. I fear I won't make an impact.
58. I don't like it when a guy takes longer to get ready than I do.
59. Ive hiked through the rainforest in Honduras.
60. I love to challenge myself.
61. I don't challenge myself enough.
62. I believe life's about the journey, not the destination.
63. I've always dreamed of being a missionary.
64. I used to doubt God could use me.
65. I know God is even using me now.
66. I love the power words can have.
67. I have a lot of books.
68. I have a bad habit of starting a book and not finishing it.
69. I work best with deadlines.
70. I am a procastinator.
71. I have a hard time letting people know the real me.
72. This list is stretching me.
73. I think scars are proof we are strong.
74. I have scars on my knees from running to do the electric slide.
75. I love to dance.
76. I wear a diamond earing in my left ear that belonged to a great friend who was killed in a car accident when he was 16.
77. I look a lot younger than I really am.
78. I believe the future will be better than I can imagine.
79. I worry too much about the future, instead of just letting it happen.
80. Life isn't about whether or not you make mistakes, but how you move past them.
81. I taught my dog to understand spanish.
82. I hate that my feet are so small.
83. I wear a size 2 in kids.
84. I own way too many pairs of jeans that I don't wear.
85. I keep too many things for too long ... I am a packrat.
86. I like to read in spanish to keep the language fresh in my mind.
87. I subcribe to US weekly, People Espanol and ESPN (the first two I just randomly picked).
88. I want to see as much of the world as possible.
89. I'd love to raise my children in another country ... possibly Africa.
90. I love sushi.
91. I love to take long bubble baths.
92. I don't pamper myself as much as I should.
93. I don't like to talk on the phone a lot ... I am more of a face-to-face person.
94. I want a tattoo.
95. I wish I was as good at motivating myself as I am at motivating others.
96. I love to watch sports, even golf. I miss my ESPN!
97. I want to be remembered as someone who achieved the impossible ... someone who was used by God.
98. I highly dislike the color pink.
99. I don't like to cry in front of people.
100. I want to be a mom.
101. I think words are like art ... only the artist knows their true meaning.

I got two legs

Last night I was watching Wife Swap and felt inspired to blog. One family was a little people couple, while the other was a hardcore physically fit family. I found it very interesting to watch as these two extremely different families interacted. One family was all about focusing on the inner person, while the other was all about focusing on their outer appearance. Watching these two families interact, it became clear to me that we need to have a balance between the two. It's good to focus on the "inner" you, but at the same time it's important to take care of the "outer" you so to speak.

Finding that balance has been a challenge for me. Because I was born with birth defect I have struggled at times to challenge myself physically. It's not that I didn't feel I couldn't do things, but more so the feeling that I was not at a level to compete with others. Growing up I loved to watch any kind of sports game. I would even feel comfortable playing just about sport, yet I have never really competed in any sport. I guess deep down I never really felt I was capable of competing, especially because I want to win. I had an if I am not going to win, why compete attitude.

But I have learned to realize that even though I may not be able to adequately compete with others, that's not really what competition is all about. Sometimes the best competition is with yourself. SO I have decided, yes I was born with a birth defect that makes it difficult for me to be a champion volleyball player or future WNBA superstar but I got two legs that are perfectly capable of running. Yes that's right I am running a half marathon. I may die in the process (OK I may be slightly over exaggerating), but I am going to do it. The only thing that can keep me from finishing is me!

I guess this a challenge to you, too. Nothing worth anything is ever easy to do. I am not saying you need to go and sign up for the marathon, but I am saying go find your marathon. Find whatever it is that you need to compete on a deeper level with yourself. Whether that be a relationship, a work situation, a dream, whatever it is go after it.

Fear

Have you ever been so scared, it scared you? You know the kind of scared that you're not sure what you will do or say. For me fear has always been the opposite. Fear actually keeps me from doing anything, rather than doing the wrong thing. Have you ever experienced the frozen factor of fear? I have experienced this more times than I care to recall. You know the "I'm too scared to do what I know I need to do" kind of fear.
But as I continue to travel through journey called life, I am realizing it's not so much about whether or not you're scared or what your fears are, as it is if you're willing to face them. Release from fear isn't about whether or not you've overcome it, as much as it is if you've faced. So I guess what I'm saying is there are a lot of things I am afraid of and I'm OK with that. I am learning to not worry so much about all my fears as I am about facing them. So here's to your fears. Stop hiding and start facing them!

Live big, Dream big

I recently went home for a few days. It's a pretty big family event. My sister was born on the Fourth of July. As I was driving through certain areas of my hometown, I began to think about how big the town used to feel. Certain buildings and neighborhoods used to seem so much bigger. I remember as a kid driving by some houses thinking they were huge. I also remember going downtown to shop at Reid's, the big department store. Then I began to think about how I look at those places now. Now the neighborhoods aren't so big and the downtown area isn't quite as big as I remember it to be. When I was living in the same small town, surrounded by the same small buildings, people and jobs, my dreams seemed too big for me.

I think sometimes that's they way it is with life. If we choose to live our lives in same season, change wil always seem too big. It will always be something that is too hard to do. When I look back on my life 10 years ago, I can see I was living way too small. Now I am not saying you need to move to a big city to live out your dreams. But I am saying it takes moving, changing, out of your comfort zone, to live as big as your dreams.

I am not even sure if any of that made sense. Just a glimpse into the deep, random thoughts that I get out of simple things like driving through my hometown.

In the Rutt

I have been reading the book, "3 Seconds," which talks about how we go through life doing either "whatever" or "whatever it takes." Which has had me thinking. Am I living a life of "whatever" or am I doing "whatever it takes" to live out this life? I think it's real easy to get in a rutt where ever you are at in life. You just have to be careful that the rutt doesn't become your life. It's easy to look at circumstances in our own lives and compare them to others, which allows us to lose some of the passion and drive that makes us endure through our hard times. I think that simple act of comparing ourselves to others is what keep us in the rutt. It's in the rutt where you begin to stop pursuing "whatever it takes" and begin to settle for "whatever." Have I ever been in a rutt? Sure have. I believe we all have at some point in our lives. It's not so much about whether or not you're in a rutt, as it is about how long you've been there. We have been taught that the "good life" is free of struggle and that things just happen for good without persistance or work. I think that's why when we find ourselves in a rutt, it's just seems like too much work to get out of it. It's easier to deal with the long term annoying pain than to deal with the extreme, agonizing short term pain of getting out. Take it from someone who knows, it's worth it to do "whatever it takes" to get out of the rutt. Our lives weren't meant to be lived out on accident, but instead to be lived out with purpose.

Process

I have always been a people pleaser. I'll go out of my way to do things for people. I have always struggled with finding that great balance of taking time for me and still helping others. For some reason whenever I do things for myself, it's not as meaningful as when I do them for others. Same is true for being disciplined in my life. If I tell myself, for example, I am going to eat better and exercise, it's really hard for me to stick to it. But if I tell someone else I will eat better and exercise with them, I feel I need to do it for them. What is it about doing something for others that I feel I have to do it? Don't get me wrong, I think you should help others but I am also finding it's just as important to do things for yourself every now and then. Like I said I am learning to appreciate me, as much as I do others. It's a process ...